You keep asking yourself why your life just won't flow in certain areas despite your hard work. In this article, I provide you with very important information to turn the tide. In short: act authentically, and you will quickly overcome disappointment.

Disappointment is an emotion

You can be disappointed in yourself, in your life, in your performance, in your colleague, in your partner, etc. First of all, it is crucial that you understand that disappointment is primarily an emotion. Disappointment is not a rational explanatory model; it is not reality. It is an emotion!

And usually we let an emotion guide us blindly. However, that is not the right way. Emotions are messengers. So is the emotion of disappointment. Therefore, you need to listen to the message of disappointment. How you deal with disappointment says everything about which self is at the helm.

Authentic self and acquired self

In the authenticity theory, we speak of two selves: an authentic self and an acquired self. Your authentic self is the person you really are. The acquired self is your modified version. Negative emotions guide the acquired self. When you recognize and use your negative emotions for your growth, you automatically grow toward your authentic self. Each emotion is a messenger from your higher self that helps you be more and more your authentic self.

What is the emotion disappointment for?

Disappointment is the negative emotion you feel when an outcome does not meet your expectations. This “wanted” can be an object (e.g., a child hoping to get a certain toy for their birthday), an activity (e.g., a vacation), an event (e.g., your team winning the game), a positive work outcome (e.g., sales going forward), and so on.

It is part of life that you don't always get what you want when you want it or expect it. Sometimes the time is not yet right, or you still need to learn something or do something else first. Some outcomes take longer than others. Therefore, the purpose of this emotion is to help you focus your attention on developing toward your authentic self.

Disappointment is a valuable emotion that encourages you to wake up. You still have something to develop.

How do we interpret this emotion in particular?

It is a skill to learn from the emotion of disappointment. Many people have not learned to deal with this emotion adequately. They have developed a habit that completely negates the message of this emotion. They miss the ball.

What do people who don't recognize the message of this emotion do? They start working even harder, they start coming up with even more new strategies that will accomplish the goal. And if it still didn't work out they have excellent arguments to justify it. Justifying is an important way to avoid getting to the heart of this emotion. While the emotion only wants to wake you up.
Hello: you are not doing the right thing, your authentic self sees other possibilities!

You are interpreting the emotion in an incorrect way.

The acquired self interprets the emotion disappointment in different ways. The deep belief is that you believe your actions have a direct impact on your reality. Because of this belief, you often also have another belief: that you do not (yet) deserve what you want. You may not experience it yet. You have to wait a while longer, you have to work harder and then it will come.

Please remember that you deserve everything. There is no relationship between hard work and earning. In authenticity theory, it is not about you having to work hard to realize something. No. In authenticity theory, the realization of your desires is based on quantum physics. This means that if you follow the laws of physics you thus realize things. If you don't get what you want right now, it doesn't mean that you haven't done it right or that you don't deserve it yet.
All current realities are signals that support you to focus on yourself. You are creating your reality. The more consciously you can act, the more you create your own reality.

How does the idea that you don't deserve it arise?

If in your younger childhood you often did not get what you wished for, chances are that you acquired a habit that prevented you from experiencing disappointment. You didn't want to experience that pain of disappointment all the time! Therefore, you adapted, believing that you don't deserve it yet. This belief confirms that you are okay with not getting what you want.

In addition, this belief establishes a relationship with the content of your actions. You learned that if you acted differently, you were more likely to get what you wanted. However, this other acting does not fit your authentic self. So you learn not to act authentically. As a child, you needed this survival strategy; however, now it prevents you from realizing that which truly suits you.

You have developed an ineffective habit of dealing with disappointment

If you have not adequately dealt with the emotion of disappointment in your life, you have developed confidence in an ineffective habit. That is a fact. This trust helped you as a child to deal with situations in which there is a chance of something happening to you that does not fit your hopes, expectations and desires. In other words, you developed a habit of anticipating an outcome you don't like.

The basis of the ineffective habit in disappointment is that you react to the outcome and too little or not at all to act from your authentic self. In other words, the outcome determines your actions. You want your partner to be different, so you advise your partner; you want more money, so you buy a state lottery ticket; you want a better job, so you apply for it; you want less debt, so you start living very frugally. Your action is a reaction to a non-desired outcome. At a minimum, you focus on acting as authentically as possible.

Act from your authentic self

Not acting authentic no longer helps you in your adult life. In your adult life, you need to deal authentically with the phenomenon that you don't always -at the moment you want it, get what you desire or want in life. As mentioned, it is regularly possible that what you desire still needs time before it can manifest, or that you need to manifest something else first. Because your results fully resonate with your growth in your authenticity. So ask yourself: where can I act even more authentically?

In conclusion

If you experience a lot of disappointment, then the message is, invest in your actions, and learn to act from your authentic self. Success guaranteed.